Merriam-Webster defines kindness as the “quality or state of being kind.”
In essence, we think of kindness as doing the “right” thing, making others happy, and being “nice.” But, does this understanding apply?
Niceness Versus Kindness
So much confusion lies between these two words. However, being “kind” can result in hurt feelings, disappointment, and, often, anger. While the term “nice” reflects how others perceive you.
Values, ethics, and beliefs dictate how someone displays their kindness. When the receiving party’s morals diametrically oppose, they may mistake good intentions for hurtful behavior.
Coddling Bad Habits
When you care about some person or group, and you see them inadvertently doing self-harm, is it an act of kindness to coddle their behavior?
In many cases, the answer is NO. In life, the long-term impact of bad behaviors goes unconsidered only to increase the negative outcomes later in life.
We should tell those we care about not to smoke, to consider what they put in their body, to have self-confidence and gratitude – to name a few.
Many hold back their concerns for others due to fear of hurting the person’s feelings. I’d argue this habit does a widespread disservice. While I’ll admit, too much of the opposite potentially creates harm.
Honesty is Kindness
When I vent to others, I am seeking advice. So, when someone vents to me, I assume they don’t mind my opinion on the subject.
In my experience, some people give honest thoughts and wisdom. While others coddle and sympathize and offer a warm gesture, but underneath hold condemnation.
One comes from a place of honesty and integrity, while the other offers a fake attempt at concern.
Being Kind Many Forms
Sometimes kindness is asking the right questions at the right time. Other times it is pushing back against self-limiting beliefs or misinformation.
Being kind has many forms. All of which require genuine efforts done with good intentions – even if they aren’t perceived that way. Holding one another accountable most certainly presents as kind.
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What are your thoughts on the difference between niceness and kindness? Share with us in the comments below or email us at emails@dirtywindshield.com.
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Good topic! I agree that honesty is kindness. In my psych training, we learned about authoritative versus authoritarian parenting or leadership. So I think that in order for the honesty to hit any mark at all, we would need to deliver it in a kind way. That’s still kind. Right?
You nailed it! Or the kindest way possible!